What A Cornball!

My grandson is 5 years old and we spend a good amount of time together. He is just learning to tell the silliest of silly jokes and then laughs and laughs at himself. You can’t help but laugh with him – it’s pure silliness in it’s best form. For a person with chronic illnesses, it makes life better when I can laugh. Thank you dear heart for being in my life.

         

“Imagination is given to a man to compensate for what he is not. A sense of humor is given to console him for what he is.” 

Francis Bacon

         

My husband and I have bought a piece of property at the beach where we plan to retire in a few short years. We spend weekends and vacation time working over there. Our next door neighbor is a 72 year old fellow who of course, is quite interested to see what is going on, as the property has sat au’naturel for the entire time he has lived in his home. He has an odd sense of humor and time and again, he reminds me so much of my brother. He’ll say something and he doesn’t think I’ll ‘get it’. I laugh and smirk, because I’m so use to this style of humor and he wonders why I understand him so well.

It’s really very endearing to think, that after all these years, (my brother died a little over 12 years ago now) God put me in a place where my new next door neighbor brings laughter and joy into my life, much as my brother did.

Let’s take a little ‘for instance’ here. My brother, Ron, liked “Hee Haw” – a goofy1960’s farm life comedy tv show. Then there was’The Beverly Hillbillies’, ‘Gilligan’s Island’ and ‘Mr. Ed’. He repeated conversations from these characters over and over, and they were always spot on for details. (I was 6 or 7 at the time and it drove me crazy – I hated those silly shows and he seemed like such a cornball to me. I wanted a cool teenage brother to look up to.)

I never understood why Ron was the way he was – until I was in my mid-30’s and talked with an aunt who told me of my Mother’s neglect, starving the poor little toddler until it did permanent harm. Even though my brother had brain-damage, he was still very functional. Being the little sister, I lost most of the arguments because he remembered details so vividly. From the time he was out of high school, he held odd jobs here and there, but never stayed employed for long because of his strong opinions and he didn’t want people telling him what to do. His speech was labored and his thinking and reading were very slow. I learned later in Ron’s life, there were many life lessons he just never learned. No one took the time to teach him how to understand basic life skills like patience, compassion and forgiveness. In those last years when we went for coffee, I began to comprehend that I needed to try to share these concepts with him. It wasn’t easy as he would get extremely frustrated and angry at me. Bless his heart (which was good) he had never learned to think of anyone but himself which resulted in the lack of close and long-term relationships.

Ron remained single his entire life. Oh, I’m sure he had girlfriends he whistled at and flirted with, through the years, but it’s no surprise, he never had a family. He was a transient-street person his entire adult life until the last few years when his health failed him. He traveled across the United States many, many times, hitch-hiking or riding a Greyhound bus, if a generous person would pay for his ticket. He chose to sleep under the stars whenever possible. This type of anti-social behavior didn’t allow him to function well in homeless shelters. Only extreme inclement weather brought him inside for a few hours at a time. I affirmed Ron for seeing a lot of our beautiful country – something I have never done. And he had a deep love for animals of all kinds, so he cuddled up with stray dogs, petted the farm animals and just enjoyed all the other wildlife he ran into in the amazing countrysides of America. He was able to find the unconditional love he was missing in his life.

In our coffeehouse chats Ron generously offered his sense of humor to everyone around us. Folks would look at him like he was from Mars! He was silly, awkward, unshaven – most people considered him a bum – unkept in rat-a-tat clothing. Through the grace that overwhelmed me when I was with Ron, I learned to laugh at his silly cornball jokes from yester’year. The shame and embarrassment I experienced well into my adult years grew into sincere admiration for him. He lived a life where he overcame severe neglect, abuse and humiliation. His sense of humor was a tool God gave him to console a broken heart and help him survive a very cruel world, one which would break most of us.

I praise God for giving Ron and me the time to sip coffee and appreciate the blessing of healing between us. He was my brother and I let everyone know how much he meant to me – as I assisted him to walk, hugged him tenderly and laughed at his silly quirky personality. He was my brother and I was proud of him. I loved him dearly.